I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
I just puked in the mop bucket at work. I think I need to go home.
you tried to clear everyones facebook status so that yours would be the only one on everyones home page
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
Just stabbed myself in the face trying to lick melted cheese off a kitchen knife.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
PS: when I ask you if I look fat in a a dress DO NOT TAKE YOUR SWEET ASS GAY TIME to formulate an answer only to tell me in front of our family that perhaps I should buy Spanx. Do you WANT me to tell mom and dad you suck cock? Then be a good brother and have the common decency to LIEEEEEE!!!!
I just got invited to party with a bunch of elderly lesbians I am in no position to offer life advice
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
Apparently he got pepper spray on his dick. So he's a literal fire crotch.
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Our sex sesh was interrupted by a bunch of hobos fighting outside his apartment.
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