My bed smells like naked
Haha. At least it doesn't smell like herpes
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
I'm starving. my midnight snack, aka a teaspoon of cum, isn't holding me over
As soon as I saw the video camera and red light on, I started rolling my eyes when he would put it in me and telling him maybe his dick was too small cause I didn't feel anything...trust me that tape is going nowhere
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
i woke up in his bed to a "teach your baby to read" infomercial. i pray to GOD that's not a sign
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
Smoked a Vape in the library status: completed
He hasn't touched a vagina in two and a half years. THIS IS WAY TOO MUCH PRESSURE TO BE UNDER
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
i survived drinking for 24 hours, an 8 ball of cocaine and a threesome. I think you can handle moving.
I think you threw up on me last night but i can't remember so i'm not mad at you.
Randomize
