So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
what is TOTES MCGOATS in spanish?
if I want to go home with a foreign boy, please feel free to let me go, sober me gives you permission to let drunken me do it
He spent the entire date challenging me to chugging contests.
I picked the lock on the bathroom door and sang him a song while he pooped. Why is he mad?
There a special place in hell for drunk criers. A special FUCKING PLACE
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
we're in NC now and so far we've smoked a blunt in every state with the exception of Tennessee which we accidentally went to
I found a bar with Metallica and a fire eater. I'm home
I'm still trying to figure out who shit on the coffee table. I have confirmed beyond a reasonable doubt that it wasn't me.
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
I saw that he had a tattoo of a map of New Jersey on his arm, so i slowed down to like 20mph and pushed him out of the car
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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