Nothing says "This dudes gotta go" better than a boner on your back waking you @ 5 in the morning
This is the last pregnancy scare i've had since i was 12 and i thought you could get pregnant from masturbating.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Why doesn't he get that I would rather give him blow jobs than be in a relationship?
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
Just call Katie. She's like the drunk whisperer; she can get them to do anything.
Blow job season was short but glorious.
Cant really say how it happened but i woke up in the middle of the night and somehow pissed all over connors dad
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
These last few days with George, grandma, and now Carrie all dying have been pushing me further and further into rum's sweet embrace.
it's like that time i was drunk at relay for life. but with balloon animals...
I think I just saw my socks in the parking lot.. gonna keep walking
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
Randomize
