do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
I'm sitting in front of the mirror eating cereal and pondering how my boobs got so big
Welcome to my life
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
He told me since I'm into organics I should know his meat is known locally for its quality and hes hand raised it since age 13.
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
At least your night didn't end with three cops seeing your ass and you sitting on the ground in a wig throwing your shoes at people
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
never stay at a party until 5am. even if it's because of daylight savings. we ended up having to watch porn with the host's dad...
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
Does it look too obvious if I buy wine and candles!?! In my defense there is a gigantic snow storm coming.
Randomize
