An ex-gang member just asked me out on a date via note. And spelled dinner wrong. Win?
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Well, at first I was really confused. But then I realized that he was talking from his penis's perspective... in third person.
There are at least 3.6 billion human cocks in this world. Get some. Get as many as humanly possible. Literally. Do it. 1-2-3 go!
WHYAREWHITEGUYSSOBADINBED?! What the fuck went wrong, evolution?
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
You kept asking us from the backseat if you were driving ok and then you kept talking to your hiccups and yelling at them to "stop it already!"
Don't shower too much, need the shame to be fresh to get the best story
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
Ps I took your recycling out, the 9 champagne bottles, vodka bottle, and tequila bottle is how I knew it was yours
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
He literally poured blue Gatorade on me after we had sex and said "good game" all over my white sheets
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
