I'm pouring my heart out in these texts and you're going around showing everyone???
How long do you need to date somebody until it is acceptable to fart in their presence?
The real question is how long do you need to date them to dutch oven them?
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
Maybe not, but you have to admit watching him get hit by the car was gratifying
I need moral support for this bender
At this point if I didn't go to work hungover I think the whole place would think something is wrong
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I woke up to him "wax on, wax off"-ing my boobs. I just reminded myself that I love him and let it happen.
Ok. As long as I can keep Kevin contained to the room I'll be ok. If not u might have a naked puking Kevin at ur door
I'm turning into an adult here.
Adults touch each other's special zones.
last time we were there you stole a tap from the toilets. How are you confused that your bag is full of baubles you clearly can't stop collecting their furnishings
Would you be opposed to me keeping a live lobster in the shower for a bit?
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
