puked in the new hous. now it's officially home.
Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
drinking from the bathtub cause I'm too lazy to walk downstairs and too thirsty to care
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
i told myself when i was 16 i would never fuck an Alan. now i've fucked 3 and i'm punching my 16-year-old self in the face
If you're staying here tonight, you need to promise me you won't make another bonfire in the lounge room. My girl is still pissed about that.
Please don't bang more than two exes at a time, just so I won't get confused.
Well I want to be mistreated and called a slut and finger banged
But I guess hugs would be nice
so how was it...?
sadly not as impressive as one might expect from a division one athlete. he lacked the stamina i had hoped for, and by lacked i do mean he fell asleep while he was still inside me. an epic wtf moment, i know.
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
