just woke up in the beanbag bin at walmart
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
We named our saturday intramural dodgeball team "we're hungover". Pretty much just an excuse to fuel my alcoholism on friday nights.
Got high and weighed everything in the house. My head is 16.2 pounds. Is that ok?
I made him ride the giant pony statue in my friends little sisters room before i let him get in the bed.
i'm laying here naked in a pile of empty landshark bottles, is lauren still hiding under the toilet?
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Do you think I could get someone from tinder to drive me to the airport?
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
DO YOU REALIZE HOW AWESOME MY GRANDMA WOULD BE IF SHE GOT HIGH
St. Patrick's day can kiss my ass. Still hungover. I guess I showed up at my gym blacked out yesterday morning. Like im not missing a gym day b
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
Some people are good at football, some people are good at painting, and he's good at being a fuckboy. Everyone has their talents.
We've been here for 9 days, so of course I am high at my in-laws' house.
Randomize
