is your mom at the bar?
Just woke up with three stitches in my left boob. Nevertheless, I think I'm going to like this school.
When you gave the girl your number the fat girl was like "take mine....here please take mine"
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was president of his frat and had a clap on disco ball in his room... or course I slept with him
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
We decided this year instead of not participating in Halloween at all we are going to hand out free beers to the parents.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Where did you go?
I'm not really sure. They have flavored vodka. I like it and I'm never leaving. Ever.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Hey, I'm just seeing how you're doing and letting you know I fucked your dad last night. Don't fuck with me.
I should've known a straight guy wouldn't know all the words to Moana
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He sent me the milestone first dick pic this morning, it looked like a baby's fist holding a tree trunk. I'm frightened and aroused in equal measure.
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