We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
He told me he loved me and then asked if we could have sex in the snow
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
So that's all you want from me. Easy ass.
And an everlasting friendship
When we picked him up this morning the cop said that if they actually arrested every drunk American who pissed on cathedral doors, Spain wouldn't have any room for real prisoners.
Don't be embarrassed its me, I've licked your taint.
He's over here like "remember those pics you sent me a couple years ago? Those were hot." And I'm like "remember talking about what we were gonna name our kids a couple months ago? That was hot." Therein lies the disconnect
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
My husband is waiting until son is napping and air humps as a seduction tactic. Pray for me.
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