bella threw up all over the kitchen floor then looked at me, laughed, and walked away
isn't bella the cat???
that she is
Sacagawea was the original milf.
The required reading for this week is a paper about birds called great tits. Let's see my TA keep a straight face through this discussion.
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is a nerf war going on here. I just cleaned the blood out of the fridge
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
i feel like i am made of mashed potatoes. i love cannabis pills so. fucking. much.
I would not recommend douching while drunk.
I looked into this "it's just lunch" matchmaker thing and it was like 5 grand. If I'm gonna spend five grand I'll throw in another three and get new tits and find my own fucking husband.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
He made her leave because she liked Top-Ramen better than Maruchaun. He's my hero.
don't do laundry while your drunk! i found a ketchup bottle & clothes hanger in the washer this morning!
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
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