What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
I think I could pass a breathalyzer. But with like a C.
And it was confirmed to me that I did in fact cut my girlfriend out of her dress with my sword.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
The girls at the police department photocopied my drinking ticket and told me to frame it and hang it on my wall. Then they gave me a free muffin and told me to party smarter next time.
You ever got drunk on $5? Cuz it's about to happen
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Everyone's going out for thirsty Thursday and I'm just like. Cool. Enjoy yourself. I'm gonna eat an entire pizza and watch King of Queens reruns.
ditto.
about cumming, not toast
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
This is the nicest bathroom I've ever been drunk in. The urinal is gold.
you know you're doing something right when your drug dealer insists on hugging you before you leave.
Randomize
