How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
Had a 3 sum last night, and today food just taste better and the air seems so much fresher!
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
He just knocked over the beer pong table... I haven't seen so much fail in one room since I watched "Mall Cop" with my grandma
she is the kim kardashian of front butts
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
Somewhere between catching the stove on fire and not being aware of it being on fire while I'm in the living room. I drank too much.
Hey fuck you and your taint. I'm just riding a canoe called life, back the fuck off. P.s. I need a ride
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
My talents include parallel parking and over reacting about absolutely everything.. And drinking..
Idk. The bad part of me thinks it's a good idea. The bad part is also the stupid part.
Randomize
