your parents love me but you hate me
just saw an old couple make out...not too sure how I feel about it. though I will admit at one point I was thinking "oh yeah! get that!"
I just saw a dog and thought "Hey! A goat!" Then realized it was a dog. Now I'm sad.
I intend to get homeless drunk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
boy from dating site added me on facebook. i don't know if i'm ready for him to see what a drunk i am.
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dang. We need a girls trip ASAP. Preferably in a country who has even lower standards than us on a Friday night.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
Who says no to sex and donuts?!
I threw up in my 8 AM. Morale is low.
Randomize