i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
i've been fucking this guy since february and just found out he might be uncircumsized. currently google image searching to confirm.
we hate each other therefore the sex is mindblowing
It totally doesn't make me a groupie if I hooked up with him before he was in the Olympics
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
Then I hope you find a set of extremely intelligent, flexible triplets in the ethnicity of your choice.
That is the nicest thing anyone has ever wished for me
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I take it that, because we are not guzzling a box of franzia, everything went alright?
Just watched an entire Mariachi band walk of shame home together. Halloween at its finest
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
You sternly pointed at him and declared that you would ride his cock until the early dawn.
Then, you ate a turkey sub, went into his room
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
