it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
So i guess my mom went into the kitchen and asked me why i was making mac and cheese at 4 in the morning and apparently i yelled at her to "get the fuck back bitch you don't know my life"
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I passed out and woke up with my pockets full of Lucky Charms cereal and chocolate coins. Another successful St Pattys Day.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
True that.. I am going to ride a gold plated unicorn across a field of cocaine and coach purses when I graduate.
That was beautiful.
Okay. thanks for sacraficing your body and risking aids for our snowcone business.
You ever just wake up and decide, today I'm going to eat a whole bag of fritos and a tub of cream cheese
I look like i have multiple stab wounds in my foot and there are footprints from the elevator to my room. What happened?
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
Is Oprah even human
So i woke up this morning to find my boss passed out on my living room floor.. Awkward? Haha
My mom found my empty case that I hid in my room and just said "now why don't you be a responsible underaged drinker and throw it in the recycling" and walked away. I'm in shock.
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
How’s big weiner McGee?
I’m going to ask you one last time to call him Matt and he’s fine thank you very much
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