Flowers- 20. Dinner-50. Drinks- 25. Hotel- 150. The look on his face when I tell him I'm on my period? Priceless.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You have to stop getting hammered and preaching about that mission trip to Haiti.
i never thought i could drink so much vodka in 8 minutes
I feel like I'm full of double a batteries and cocaine.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
You both ran and jumped into the tub yelling Jamaican bobsled team
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
Getting "I couldn't find the front door so I climbed in through window" drunk seems to be a habit of yours
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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