We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
Oh and jess is gonna pee in our guest bedroom to mark her territory.
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I think the threesome was inevitable when she walked out in nothing but his boxers followed by him completely naked.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
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Will it be a clothes optional week when I get there? I have an amazing outfit of tattoos and toenail polish planned.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
I have got to stop telling people I was almost a prositute every time I drink
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Do you remember punching the light out in the bathroom? I didn't, and that was at bar 2 of 4…
dude I fucking saw you snort tequila
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