Three words: puerto rican gang bang
i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
i told him that if he starts being sappy its friends = off. he called me jerkface and drew on me w permanent marker. im either in love w him or we are twelve.
Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Coffee is gods way of saying go ahead, get absolutly trashed on weeknights, I got your back
found a pic of my little bro & his girl naked. he got the brains and the huge junk gene. I hate him
I woke up on the stairs at of a Disneyland hotel. Yes, my night was amazing.
he said it was like fucking a big sack of slut potatoes
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
she's unstoppable after she starts doing shots and yelling NANNER
I'm home alone drinking wine, so high, scrubbing my house down... This is what my thirsty thursday has become
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
Randomize
