sooo how much is appropriate to spend on a vibrator? what if it is really legit looking?
Only a mothe r could love this liver
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
yup put them legs up on your shoulders and eat her like some folgers
eat her like coffee?
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
how are you not completely traumatized after 8 years of friendship with me?
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
I'm not embarrassed about the lap dance. I'm embarrassed for the singing during.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
My new best friend is the drag queen who works at mcdonalds and doesnt judge me during my walk of shame coffee break
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Aaand now my client contact has seen your boobs.
MY COWORKER IS ATTRACTIVE AND I DROPPED A SONIC THE HEDGEHOG JOKE IN CONVERSATION I FUCKED UP
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
Randomize
