Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
The fact that both my ribs are severely bruised from shoving flasks in my bra might be a validation of my mothers alcoholic accusation
I'm pretty sure my moms getting nailed in the bathroom right now while I'm chaperoning. God damn it.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
don't judge my taste in strippers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He had an extremely smooth butt for a man with such rough hands.
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
All boys are excommunicated from my vagina until further notice.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
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