She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
I may or may not have eaten the rest of your birthday cake last night after getting blazed and watching harry potter.
i think you have the wrong number
so then it wasn't your birthday cake. k, cool.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
It was almost awkward to look at you naked while listening to Circle of Life. Just saying.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
Can't meet up at the party. Gary was caught by the cops attempting to drop a deuce thru his ex wife's Subaru via sun roof. Details as soon as bail is processed.
Randomize