i just puked in front of my entire floor a girl on crutches asked iof i needed help hahaaa fuck ima damn fool
idea:have a jello shot stand(opposed to lemonade stand) to raise money for spring break
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You insisted on drinking champagne out of the dog bowl
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
There is a newly found video on my phone of me following you to the bathroom to watch you throw up. sorry I didn't hold your hair
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
In lieu of flowers, please donate to The Hungover Children's Fund in my name.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
This popcorn tastes like salt and regret. It reminds me of the first blowjob I ever gave.
You've ruined popcorn for me.
She woke up with her hand super glued to the fridge....how the hell am I Supposed to get her off??
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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