he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Her vagina was like a man-sized safe.
For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I'll sleep on the bed... The couch is now designated banging area. Any banging performed outside of that area will be subject to fines of cleaning up stains.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
I'll always remember 2012 as the year I hooked up with countless girls who had the sides of their heads shaved.
The great part about clubs is that you can fart everywhere and nobody knows! The bad part is I'm on e and i have nobody to fondle.
I'm surprised I didn't lose anything last night. Except maybe my dignity but other than that we gucci.
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
idk how I feel so profoundly understood by someone whose latest tweet is "labia majora's mask." but I do.
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
using my tits for other peoples nudes hit me up business in the making
at the hospital. Kevin drank straight from the river
Once you start using "cuddles" as a code word for sex you'll never get real cuddles again
Randomize
