so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
all i know is i woke up with a braid in my hair and i vaguely remember a cab driver telling me he would give me $10,000 to get him a green card. and he would take me to turkey. and give me free cab rides. im never drinking on my medicine again. lol.
don't ever try to run hungover. just puked mid-run in front of an old couple that were going for a walk. they were horrified.
No more Irish car bombs ever.
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
Before he took off his pants he paused and said, "Remember..sometimes great things come in small packages."
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
crossing my fingers that hitting golf balls off my pourch was a dream and not something that actaculy happened
I reek of latex and grilled onions.
Mission accomplished.
And he came all over himself. At least he didn't ruin my new lulus.
Actually though that could've been bad.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
You know it's a pretty bad night when an injured penis is not the worst thing that happened to you. Fuck tequila
Of course I'm watching space shows while stoned on the science channel. Why would I want to learn while not baked out of my skull?
I mean, I let him sleep with me after we both ate taco bell sober... That's kinda like love, right?
You have a full penis tattoo of a cobra fighting a mongoose, don't you?
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