im pretty sure there are laws against slapping prostitutes
i'm pretty sure there are laws against prostitutes.
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
We've started doing pot butter shots. WHY AREN'T U HERE
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
Well, on the plus side, the hospital gave me a shirt that says "Makes a bad ass look good"
If I ever go to Canada, I'm fucking the maple syrup out of his Canadian ass.
Help everyone's hot
Men are hot women are hot non-binary people are hot aliens are hot
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
I can't talk, I can't walk, I think I'm twitching and I'm not even sure if I'm typing this. Help
Randomize
