I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
dunno bout you, but i grow tired of beef curtains
we sat in the hammock and pretended we were skydiving for three hours. jack actually started crying when i convinced him his chute didnt open.
Oh. Thats cool. Im not dating anyone right now. Sean gave me chlamydia from some GUY he fooled around with. Im being abstinent.
got hammered last night, woke up this morning to 38 texts that varied from "you fucking asshole" to "i can be there in 10 minutes"
Found our threesome girl. She says I'm pretty. She doesn't know I'm pregnant. Yet. Think we can pull it off?
He asked me out while I'm back in town. I have to acknowledge and honor his persistence.
Your vagina must be laced with cocaine...
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
I wore Yonce braids out last night and made out with a man and a woman #bowdown is right
It's wednesday. OF COURSE HE'S DRUNK.
Randomize
