Just saw cops pull over the ice cream truck. What a dick
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
He asked if he could fuck me while on chat roulette.
and then you yelled "out of the way, i'm a lifeguard!" and everyone let us through
he got mad when I told him his flaccid penis looked like a sleeping kitten
You had me sold at "fucking you down the slide"
I cannot even. Taco bell reception. Beers. New friends from Georgia.
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
You don't understand. On her lunch break she sits on the roof, stares into the sky, and chain smokes. I can't get on her level. She is made up of java monsters with whiskey and a voice that sounds like sex.
You need to stop crushing on your boss or fuck her.
I'm hammerd and his penis is still the size of a giraffe's neck
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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