with your own penis?
I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
Training to be a housewife: cleaning the house and masturbating while cookies are in the oven.
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I keep telling girls I work at the carnival and then guessing their weights. I'm pretty sure I'm about to get kicked out.
would it be completely unacceptable to smoke a cig outside naked? im already doing it so what you say doesn't matter.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Ummm didn't i have pubes when i went to bed last night?
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I shaved an Xmas tree into my junk.... I placed your present underneath.
she crawled a good forty meters just to whisper in my ear... "dildon't"
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