the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I'm not upset with you; I'm upset with Fox News.
you left him a drunk voicemail of you singing speechless by lady gaga balling your eyes out
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
some random kid just walked into our apartment with two cases... I don't know who he is but I like him
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I definitely did a line of something I don't know with a Pagan biker. I make good decisions.
I will accept it in the form of tooth necklace but if you have better ideas I am open to suggestions.
Just saw a man downtown with a cat just riding on his shoulder like a furry parrot. He may be homeless, but I think he's your soul mate.
Ah well. Drinking wouldn't be drinking without mystery bruises
Agreed.
Today is an "outside sex" kind of day.
I dunno, there's just something so\ncomforting about having his penis in my mouth.
Welcome to the club of "Sick of cleaning up actual shit." We meet on the 3rd Sunday of each month. Bring your ceremonial viking helmet.
Randomize
