all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
You yelled "bananas are an excellent source of pottasium!"4 times in the middle of class. how do you not remember?
I don't even know what potassium is.
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
His bond is $50,000..margarita Monday might get cancelled
We had to coat check the pizza.
They left me stranded on the side of the road with a table and five gallons of water. They said it was all I really needed to survive. People are staring
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
Amanda bynes is my spirit animal
He threw a twenty at the stripper and asked for change
well did he get it
....yes
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
That's how pantless uber rides happen
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
I still judge her for aggressively trying to get coke from my date but pretty cool that she's a black belt
Let's be real, he was never going to be tall enough
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