I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
no you cant smoke seaweed
Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
Last time i was there we saw the window of the pizza place we were at get busted, we were pulled out of a taxi to be questioned by the cops, and we peed outside a waffle house. I'm in.
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
I need vodka mixed w a bit of holy water right now
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
When is the right time to ask your new roommate for her school schedule so she doesn't walk in on you fucking some rando in the kitchen in the middle of the afternoon?
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
You are not allowed to sing ever again, my ears are still ringing.
I'm starting to notice a direct correlation between blackouts and broken bones...
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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