I couldn't get internet on my iPod in this hotel room for porn, so I made due with UFC.
I'm not sure what to say to that.
see you put your penis in her and it's like an ignition key to start the crazy
hahaha our party bus just died on the freeway and we're drinking in the center divider. i'm on the roof. i win
So Ryan had to wash the dishes. His solution: take a shower with them. I'm never eating at his house again.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
So this tall girl jumped in our cab and I was like hey I have pics of u on my phone. It wasn't creepy at all
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Did you leave a mouse under my pillow again?
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
