Her mom drove me home after I blew a .13 So there I am wishing her mom a happy mother's day sitting in the passenger seat where I just banged her daughter 15 min prior
Im partying with a unicorn. You don't even know.
The worst mistakes make the best memories. Write that down.
my credit card is covered in vodka and bad memories
I just found a tail you can wear naked. Via a butt plug. Who ever said the internet was a good thing?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
I wish I got like a congrats basket for being a responsible sexually active member of society complete with condoms, tissues and lollipops.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
I'm telling you, I 'm beginning to think that my vagina is magical.
Randomize
