i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
he was walking around the bar drinking wild turkey and gobbling simultaneously
Watching intervention at a bar. Who let this happen??
I found those 18 whoppers we bought.
There are GROWN MEN with fake HP wands flinging curses at me in Walmart.
That's funny. Are they weird looking???
OF COURSE THEY ARE WEIRD LOOKING, THEY ARE STALKING ME IN WALMART. WITH. FAKE. WANDS.
you made me have a moment of silence for the half of a sub sandwich that you dropped on the floor earlier
VODKA 4LOKO BEER NOT IN THE CLEAR
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
So I tried to catch a rabbit in Terraria & accidentally blew it up with a grenade made of bees. Monty Python would be proud.
Randomize
