big game today.. looking forward to seeing that magic win, and then i will celebrate with a nude dip in lake Eola.. anyone else in??
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
So you started off by saying "no homo," but patting his crotch and saying his jeans fit him wonderfully may have overshadowed that.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just had one of those moments where i was really sad that i'll never get to be asian.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
All right cuz right now I'm in one of those moods where the shear thought of doing anything more strenuous than making a sandwich has me wanting to curl up in the feeble position and splash around in a puddle of my own tears.
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
When I told her I was deaf and took my hearing aids out at night to sleep, she said it must be nice not having to hear drunken roommates having awkward sex late at night.
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
I think we have some hyper-understanding of each other when drunk, because looking back at our text convo from last night, they were literally just jumbled letters.
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
Randomize
