Can we switch to phone sex? This is starting to get awkward...
You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
that's when I learned why R Kelly peed on that bitch
Dude, you need to talk to your mom
wtf?
She just called and asked if i would be part of the intervention she's planning for you
I just hemmed my dress for halloween, never felt more like a man
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
I ended up naked in a pond with you-know-who and your saying your a good babysitter? Dick.
I can't help the fact that i'm turned on by white boys that look like Jesus
I figure even if it starts out as just sex I can bang him into loving me
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
She is crazy bro, she'll kiss me after eating her ass but looses her fucking mind if I double dip a french fry in "our" ketchup!
Randomize
