Text. Mid BJ. 8 points.
..now you can marry chaz and be in cher's family..
yeah n i dont have to pretend to be into chicks to do it now...
you sent me 45 texts saying "meow?"
did i?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You called yourself Captain Aspirin and then tried to cure my headache by shoving pills up my nose. Fuck you becoming a nurse, you can't take care of me while you're drunk ever again. Ever.
Just drank an entire bottle of champagne for lunch. It's gonna be that kind of semester.
at the end of the day, college isnt gonna be for everyone... and some of us are just going to have to learn how to breathe underwater while sucking cock.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
Ok spinning in the opposite direction thatg the room was spinning was the worst advice ever
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
Had a turkey baster with clean pee in it in my pants to pass a drug test, and the bottom fell off, so yeah I'm pretty pissed.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
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