then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
The fact that I found him in his Ninja Turtles t-shirt next to six empty and obviously consumed packs of EasyMac watching reruns of Becker certainly made telling him that I wanted a divorce so much easier than I had planned.
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
i was driving around baked, windows down jamming to third eye blind and eating grapes for 35 minutes before i remembered why i left my house
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
I definitely hasselhoffed a taco bell burrito on my kitchen floor in front of my dad and little brother.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
Seriously, webMD this shit for me, I cant move and I dont wanna die until I have something worth fighting over in my will
I know you are gonna wanna ask a lot of questions but when we are home I need to cover your face with deli meat and photograph it
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
Just to clarify, i'm coming over for tacos not a threesome
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
Feels weird riding an elevator with my tongue in my own mouth.
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