it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
I started blowing him in North Dakota, and I finished the job in Minnesota. Oh, the places road head can take you.
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
what's the least obnoxious place that i could barf on the bus?
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Im part way to drunk.
My condom drawer is now filled with W-2s and tax return documents. Is this adulting?
His abs are so defined he looks like a human xylophone.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
We blew shit up to. With a cannon.
Randomize
