What kind of soap washes out shame, bad decisions, and whiskey?
Irish Spring?
why do the even put the "Please drink responsibly" on tequila ads? like has anything responsible ever come from tequlia. No. never.
btw found the cat. he didn't appreciate the toilet bath.
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
NO I WOULD NOT GET A GUMMER FROM A GRANDMOTHER
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
I would have cried, probably tears of wine, but cried nonetheless.
We had a company shotgunning beers contest in the parking lot today, and I won. God bless America!
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
Found like seven bruises in the shower. One was shaped like a hand. Best. Sex. Ever.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
Randomize
