how hairy? two words: wookie tits
Oh no, it isn't official until she poops.
Dude stop singing. Your life is not an episode of fucking glee
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
I remember tearing his shower curtain down but I don't remember trying to shave my vag...
No, its ok. Im playing strip pretty pretty princess im currently dueling for the crown
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
I tried to force my roommate into a sink last night. And I almost won.
Oh shit. The hangover. It has taken 20 mins and 5 attempts to tie my shoelaces
She offered to treat me to breakfast after a one night stand if I meet her parents and sex again if I act as her bf. It may be a trap but its a offer I won't refuse.
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
I'm actually pinning crap for Friendsgiving like a boss right now. These bitches better show up.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
In case you're wondering... Yes walmart will judge you for buying vodka and pickles at 645am.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
Randomize
