Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
Shit sorry. Maybe I wont give you this sweet ass fanny pack I found in my parents attic
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
Fuck at this point id do just about anything for 20 bucks
That has been your downfall in past encounters with 20 dollars bills
The ice cream man just told me to use protection.
U can find me on my couch hungover eatin tuna evaluating my life
Want to come over and rub aloe on my tits?
You know what's fun. When your getting a new mattress and you forget you put your vibrator under your old mattress and the moving guy finds it
He keeps telling me he's gonna get me dope for my birthday. 1. HELP ME. 2. HOW IS THAT AN ACCEPTABLE BIRTHDAY PRESENT. Also, please HELP ME.
GOOD NEWS I CAN BRING THE VODKA IN MY LUGGAGE
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
Sometimes in life you just have to realize the security deposit isn't worth it.
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
Randomize
