Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
New justification for blow: drug week; 'how it's made'
The air was thick with penises
I fucking love my neighbors. I offered him chocolate and somehow it turned into a sexual proposition.
It takes a special kind of man to fart REALLY loudly right before entering a woman and still get some. This has been a state of bootytown address.
I believe in using alcohol to heal from the inside. Not as a topical solution.
I opened a bud lite with a fencing sword last night. Yeah you banged that guy.
oh. oh my god. i just had lunch with my mom with semen still on my face.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
If he's dating my cousin now, do I have to erase the pictures of his dick off my phone? Ugh, morals.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
Randomize
