R and i have drinken 4 bottles od red wine. By ourselfs
My mom gets in bar fights. She doesn't go to bed early.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Frozen waffles and wine. Loneliness-party of one
She introduced herself as 'Ann the sober one.' Took me to a coat check and a lost and found. Then offered coffee and breakfast sandwiches. Turns out she's been paying her half of the electric bill running post-party operations.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Can now check off "Start bar fight with my dad." on my bucket list.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
So naked ping pong was a mistake... Looks like we were attacked by an octopus.
Randomize
