Well, its 5:30am and you haven't let me in, I guess ill go home
I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she crawled under her car and passed out. Unfortunately her feet were sticking out and someone called 911 because they thought she had been run over.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and then you looked me right in the eyes and said "i just really wanna pet some horses right now"
Don't lose. A little bit of my soul dies every time a beer pong game is lost.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
What?! Why else would they put table cloths on a table if not for discreet oral sex? That's why they were invented! Read a book...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you did that thing you do when youre drunk where you rant about bruce springsteen, start hooking up with someone and then pass out midway through
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Just found some confetti on my nipple if that's any indicator of how the night went
All I know for sure is, I went to bed drunk and I woke up in a relationship..I think I need to reevaluate my drinking skills.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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