Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
Well to be completely honest its more of a 'i wanna do things to you that your parents would not enjoy hearing about' mood
my mom is pro-life. I dare you to fuck me.
On that note; HAPPY 21: THE SEQUEL from the back of an ambulance!!
I feel like as your wife, as cool with your decision-making skills as I usually am, there should be a bigger explanation to you adopting a child while I'm in Houston.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
Good, I would never sleep with your boyfriend , or send you an edible arangment
I don't really feel bad about it, but I legit just squirted in the back of an Uber and it makes me think how many times has this happened before?!?!
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
I can guarantee he will smoke me out and I won't feel bad about it because he gets to touch my butt.
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
