those bitches were sniggering at my man-pris like they were goddesses of fashion!
...dude i pray you are quoting something, someone, anyone...
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
Hey your work video crashed my computer. The 8 pornos running in the other window didn't. Congratulations.
I'm having a hard time existing right now. When I figure out how it works ill be over.
I just set a reminder on my phone to get star spangled hammered this weekend.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
Do you think accidently including this month's Credit Card statement in my application will keep me from getting into grad school?
Depends ... when did you purchase your vibrator?
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
The contents of my fridge consist of alcohol, Nuva ring, and cheesecake. I'm that girl.
I felt like I was having sex with Joffrey from Game of Thrones. Needless to say how bad it was
Yes. I masterbate to Harry Potter. It's what our generation does.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
Randomize
