i was unaware that anal sex sometimes ends with shit on the bed.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
Now that there's no chance of him coming over to fuck anymore, I'm going to put up a one-person tent in my bedroom and live in it. My bed reminds me of him.
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I JUST AGREED TO GO TO A CHILD'S BIRTHDAY PARTY AT A PLACE CALLED PUZZLE'S FUN DOME WHY DO I HATE MYSELF
Three times. Three times I left home yesterday in search for sex, and three times I returned un-orgasmed.
I got wing sauce on the baby and licked it off. If you were wondering how I'm doing.
when i was on the highway she passed out and knocked my transmission into nuetral with her forehead...that was an experience
There was puke outside of my classroom and lecture was half empty. Damn thirsty thursday is intense
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