I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
I have now hooked up with 8 of the Apostles. I have no idea where I'm going to find a guy named Bartholomew.
In class ... We were just assigned groups for the quarter... Remember that night we took shots from that guys pants? I now know his name
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I puked in the urinal of a bar tonight. Not embarrassed cause I got away with it, legitimately upset you weren't there to make fun of me.
Dude I walked 1.4 miles through the hotel wearing a cowboy hat, pink topped boots, gucci shades, and a scarf and met my parents in the hallway at 7 am how is this not a good start to Vegas?
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
Never thought I'd say this but the maple syrup flavored vodka probably wasn't our best idea
But that's fine. Because I am an independent woman who is going to pull some jane Goodall shit and save the world one day......or be a porn star......either way they are going to wish they had fucked me.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
my friends roomated asked me this morning if we went to mcdonalds last night and i had no idea...that is until i checked my purse and found half a mcdouble in it...
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
