I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
nailed a girl as she was wearing a darth vader shirt. Cross that one off my list.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
if three guys were standing in front of you and they differed only in the hairiness of the groin who would you choose: smooth as a baby's bottom, the grass lands or the amazon jungle?
i think you're getting too neurotic about why she won't touch you.
I'm afraid my bank account can't handle syllabus week.
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
Didn't know what to wear so I ripped off my bed sheets and tied myself a toga. "a little hungover" is no way to describe me right now.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Yesterday I dumped him, went out for my birthday, hooked up with someone else, and today he still fed my cat. Living with your ex ain't so bad . . .
I threw up in my closet when I was hammered last night. Like a fucking toddler. I can't play with the grow ups.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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