guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Just promise me you wont die... or hook up with an old asian lady playing slots
Cant promise that last part. I won't die though
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
I fucking love your mom. She's so drunk and fully functional. I aspire to be her one day.
why is there blood on my car? and are we still friends?
Not much, just taking another sorting hat quiz while waiting for this porno to finish buffering
He drives a tundra! Of course I fucked him. Im just saying eventually im going to need help moving and he has a nice truck. Its like thank you for later on
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I had sex upstairs in my parents house, and my mom texted me and said "those raccoons are out of control in the walls."
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
