oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
I want a gay best friend. or apple sauce either one is fine with me
eye of the tiger was playing while i pooped... it totally helped.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
Second wind. Either that or my heart is about to explode. I'm hoping the first one.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I can't hangout tonight, I have a phone sex appointment at 10
All I want is a wedding with a dress and a veil and where I can go and my cat can go.
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Just woke up to Siri reminding me that i need to kill the giant orange spider in my room, because it's sorcery and witchcraft is sacrilegious. Did you give me LSD again!?!??!
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
No idea who's grandma but people were just running around naked
Randomize
