I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Who the hell brings a 6pack to a party. I'm trying to make mistakes.
I just told a dude I hooked up with last night he was the pick of the litter.
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
From what I hear, her blowjob factory was runninng at full capacity this weekend.
I actually took a sword out of your hands. You were samurai slashing lemons to make chasers.
I might not remember all of last night but I clearly remember the part where I humped the mailbox.
well hes been the bathroom for like 15 mins so he either feels comfortable enough to puke/ shit in my apartment or he escaped out the window
I'm not pregnant. Security came before he could.
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I need you to go into my room and get some pants then bring them and four band aids to Sam's apartment no questions
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
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