how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Do you think the guy at the front desk was watching us last night? Although we were in a public pool, therefore our tits were free game.
I love being Chipotle's first beer sale of the morning.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
I'm chasing my vodka with snickers.
Personally, I'm gonna be Sexy Dobby the House Elf.
Yes, ur purse got stole with our condo keys in it but my slut ass saved us and we had a place to stay, AND I got to choke a motherfucker while riding him. Thats taking one for the team.
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Me and my dad hot boxed a hotel bathroom... That's what I call father son bonding
Randomize
