you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
I was gonna make fun of her but that plan kinda stopped once she put my dick in her mouth
I wouldn't take my shot so you poured it on my face. Twice.
At this point, I really just need a sign in sheet for my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Kegstand on crutches, you need to get on my level.
while she was riding me, she looked at me and said "this is why mom told me learning how to ride a horse would be important for my future"
this mall makes me feel like I just rolled a 9 in jumanji and got the stampede card
I'm ok. I've got the pantsless-with-dignity thing down pat
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why do all the Father's Day cards talk about what a great dad they are? Why can't there be one that says something like "Thanks for sticking it to mom and making me possible, your sperm was appreciated."
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
Gonna do a few lines then clean my room so I can feel like my life is somewhat in order.
We just started our own DARE program: Drugs are really enjoyable.
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