you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
Druken naked yoga : jus another ploy to keep your husbands eye in check
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
Should I go sleeveless of strapless?
Hmmm, it doesn't matter. You're gonna be topless by the end of it.
We dug deep emotionally while eating cereal
No more weed for you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
In that case, if you come anywhere near my house you can expect to be chased down various streets by a half naked me wielding a baseball bat. No, I am not giving you my address.
Why so serious bruh
I will never look at a penis the same again. After that I will appreciate them so much more than I do. Makes me wanna kiss yours just for being pretty
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
I don't remember much, but I remember he called me the dick whisperer, so it must not have been all bad.
I told him it was fine and then I keyed his car.
I swear I'm an adult. I say as I send my mom to go find me green lucky charms and lady gaga oreos
Randomize