I feel like I'm in dance class right now
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
my mom just told me how she used to love having sex while stoned. wtf.
after he handcuffed me and put me in the back seat, "Mrs. Officer" started playing, I thought maybe this could be my escape
i just dedicated my kegstand to your breasts
After your mom took her 12th and fatal tequila shot she proceeded to fall head first into the bonfire... Guess I don't have to fear getting old after all
Putting a positive pregnancy test next to my condoms in my drawer so I remember why I always need to use condoms
Do you think if I tell the hot Santa at work that I want a sugar daddy for Christmas that he'll get the hint?
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
Why did I see a weird snapchat of you barking at McDonald's last night?
There they were doing the deed on the beach, looked like two seagulls fighting over a chicken bone.
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
DAMN HIS BEARD AND ABILITY TO USE TOOLS ON A LADDER!!
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
I told him he had to put his dick inside of me at approx 1159 to ensure it was birthday sex. i was 19 when he entered me.. came out 20. winning.
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