kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
i wanted to tell my neighbors to shut up it was 4am, but listening to her rag on him for his minute man routine was actually entertaining
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
He was making tequila spiked Arnold Palmers and murmuring things in Spanish.
I love foreign exchange students.
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
You were all "think outside the box, inside the bag!" as you filled your camelback with beer.
Is it bad juju to glue mini budda to the bottom of a shot glass
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I dont know it just seems wrong to fuck her on my exes back porch
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
I want to be tan and drunk. Is that too much to ask for?
I found it. now I'm going to the gym to be "healthy" or whatever that folklore is called.
He asked me how flexible I was and all I could think about was that time I threw my back out putting in a tampon.
I just told 2 of my vibrators "I love you." I seriously need some dick.
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
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