Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Found out my brother is now my eskimo brother...One of my proudest times as a brother
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Dude, she found the red hair dye from 4th of July. then she proceeded to give you a red mohawk for a more patriotic thanksgiving eve. How do you not remember that?
Idk how much more i could have responded my dick was basically trying to unzip the zipper and hop out
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
People trash cargo shorts, but I'm like, sorry I had room for beers and you didn't.
i just has to use a gift card to Target that one of my students parents got me to buy Plan B bc my bank account is -$0.08 so my 2017 is starting exactly how i pictured.
Randomize
