everytime someone famous vagina shows up in pics, i have to go check my own vagina to make sure mine dont look all wrinkledy and flabby like that....i want my lips plump and succulent
I just gave the bartender my number in roman numerals. If she figures it out, she's worth a shot
I have on cowboy boots and a ten gallon hat. I'd say I'm a little past tipsy
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
my mom was in labor with me for 32 hours, it's only fair to start drinking now.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
What should we drink tonight, I'm in the mood to be judged
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Just realized that my booty calls are vastly ranging in penis sizes.
Randomize
